Drinking and Dating : Finding the Right Mix

by InList.com Sun Apr 06, 2008 7:40 pm

Drinking and Dating: Finding the Right Mix

www.InList.com

Although some are convinced that liquor works quicker than charm, wit, or dinner ever could, let’s admit it—there is a sweet spot between relaxed and sloppy. Drinking on a date can seemingly help you fight nervousness, divert boredom, and encourage your “fun side” to emerge.
A liberating libation relieves tension and allows you to drop your guard. Many people operate under the assumption that alcohol makes them and their dates more attractive and/or interesting. Whether this is true or not is your opinion. However, when you do drink on a date, you risk morphing into a bedraggled boozehound who never scores another meeting. Like to drink but don’t want to come off as a barfly? We have compiled a few quick tips to identifying the right balance.

But I’ve Only Had…Wait, How Many?
A good unwritten rule is to stay under three beverages on a date. Heed the wise warning from Grandma that martinis are like eyes: One is not enough and three is too many. Typically, one or two drinks will make you more talkative and comfortable, while three to five leave you with warbled speech and a sleazy smirk. You can count on this: After five spirits you’ll neither be able to walk straight nor score a second date.

Proceed with Caution
It may seem like alcohol provides an effortless transition from bore to charmer, but it’s a thin line from witty to witless, from likable to lecherous lush. If you are going to drink, your best bet is to have a meal first so that your body can metabolize the alcohol. As soon as you feel the alcohol hit your system, take note. Pay attention to your body. Often when we drink too much we aren’t really thinking about how our bodies feel—we are simply having a good time and want that to continue. Before we know it we are in way over our heads and need a cab home. Been there? We thought so.
If you simply can’t resist, a good way to thwart the need for liquid courage is to meet at a neutral place that is not a bar. It’s good practice. Besides, if you need to have a drink on a date, there may be a serious issue that needs addressing. If you must hit the watering hole, carry just enough cash for the date at hand (more or less) so you won’t be tempted to order five rounds of drinks without asking your date to pony up.

Keeping the Pace vs. Saving Face
Many people feel that they have to match their date drink for drink. Quite simply put, it’s not a contest. Don’t feel pressured to venture outside of your sobriety comfort zone for anyone. If the other person is fervently throwing them down, don’t feel that you need to keep up to stay in his or her good graces. Instead, cutting yourself off demonstrates self-control and indicates that you are more interested in keeping it together than in impressing the other person.

Initial Impact
First impressions are everything, especially on that first date. Hopefully you are motivating your date to consider you for another meeting, and hazing things up with the hard stuff will not help that goal. Just because you can drink the frat boys under the table doesn’t mean you should. You’ll end up looking like a seasoned partying professional. We hate to break it to you, but unless you’re 18, a shot record impresses no one. Before life coaches were the norm, bartenders were the bended ear advisors who could problem-solve while mixing up a mean martini.
Standard advice from a professional drink slinger on the matter suggests, “If you need to wonder if you should have another drink, then you shouldn’t.” Bottom line: On your next date, think about what kind of message you are sending before the next bottoms up.

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